Cesc Fabregas.
Real Madrid to fight Barcelona for Cesc Fabregas

Having previously offloaded a promising young midfielder to Arsenal only to decide several years down the line that they'd quite like to buy him back at an enormous financial loss, Barcelona have offered Arsenal midfielder Thiago Alcantra as part of a £50m deal to bring perennial silver medal winner Cesc Fabregas back to the Nou Camp.

Also on the first bus out of Camp Nou is former-flavour-of-the-month Bojan Krkic who is deemed surplus to requirements by Pep Guardiola. Liverpool and Arsenal are set to duke it out for the Spanish forward's signature.

Also heading out of Arsenal will be goal-shy centre-forward Nicklas Bendtner, last seen moping along the Holloway Road complaining about his "at his lack of opportunities" for first team football. Arsene Wenger has lined up occasionally good West Brom striker Peter Odemwingie to replace the Dane at the Emirates.

Meanwhile up north Sir Alex Ferguson has been told he will need to find in excess of £20m to sign diminuative Tottenham playmaker Luka Modric. To fund the transfer he will offload want-away winger Nani to Real Madrid for £40m where the Portuguese international can once-again chase Ronaldo's shadow round a football pitch.

Aston Villa winger Ashley Young (£20m) and Inter midfielder Wesley Sneijder (£15m) are still being linked with big money moves to Old Trafford. Another player apparently on his way to the Premier League champions is Arsenal playmaker Samir Nasri (£10m) who is yet to sign a new deal at Arsenal.

The Gunners are also prepared to listen to offers for trundling utility man Emmanuel Eboue (£5m) who could be offered a chance of redemption at newly promoted Queens Park Rangers. Reserved QPR manager Neil Warnock has donned a deerstalker hat and a hunting rifle and 'entered the hunt' for Newcastle striker Nile Ranger as well as the underwhelming Tottenham duo Robbie Keane (loan) and Jermain Jenas (£7m).

Steve Bruce will look to plug the gap left when Jordan Henderson jumps ship to Liverpool by splurging the £18.5m he'll receive on Manchester United outcasts Wes Brown and Darren Gibson.

Carlos Tevez will almost definitely/possibly be leaving Manchester City this summer. The fact that even the red-tops are refusing to cover this story anymore tells its own story.

Meanwhile, City will look to replace Tevez with lumbering Real Madrid midfielder Kaka, Chelsea are also interested. But both clubs will be thwarted as over in Spain, Madrid manager Jose Mourinho has been conducting 'clandestine' phone calls with Inter Milan coach Leonardo that involve, amongst other things, a swap deal involving formerly-good Brazilian midfielder Kaka and the Inter defender Maicon.