I know the title of this article assumes the worst in you and maybe that's not fair. But let's be honest here. Statistics show, right now, about half of you have already given up on your New Year's resolution. And, in another few weeks, half of the people left will have forgotten all about it as well. It's not I don't have faith in you. It's the research. How can I argue with math?
So, should you happen to realize your New Year's resolution has fallen by the wayside (now or in the future), don't beat yourself up. You're not alone! There are several common reasons this happens. Instead of getting down and thinking of this as a "failure," focus on figuring out what happened. Do some analysis and find ways to ensure, in the future, things will be different.
Below, I've compiled a list of the top eight reasons people don't follow through on their resolutions and I've also provided some tips to make next time more successful. And by the way, "next time" doesn't necessarily mean January 1, 2012. You can make a resolution any time you'd like. Just sayin'.
1. You didn't make a plan for it.
A lot of people forget a resolution is really just a GOAL. It has to be treated as such. It doesn't have additional superpowers just because it starts on January 1. A goal requires structure. Otherwise, it's a wish.
Next time: Be proactive. Make your plan. Look for possible obstacles and prepare for how you'll deal with them. Don't just cross your fingers and hope for the best.
2. You forgot the reasons why you were doing it.
Motivation matters. If you don't know why the goal is important, it's easy to drop.
Next time: Clarify exactly why you're doing this, why you NEED to do this. Write it down. Post it in visible locations. Create small reminders to help keep you focused when times get hard.
3. You didn't plan for setbacks.
Let's face it: No one is perfect. We all fall off the wagon at some point. You need a clearly defined plan for what to do when this happens and how you'll get back on that horse.
Next time: Recognize things will get hard and unexpected obstacles will get the better of you. That's no reason to give up completely. Give yourself some leeway. Find ways to forgive yourself and reignite the passion.
4. You didn't have a strong support network.
Friends and family are important. They can help raise you up or push you down, depending on the nature of the relationship. With any goal, it's important to surround yourself with people who believe in what you're doing and want to see you succeed.
Next time: Gather your groupies! Let them know what you're doing and why and ask if you can count on them to help you reach your goal. If they're not supportive, keep them at a distance. Who needs toxic relationships anyway?
5. You took on too much too fast.
Many of us get a little over-zealous around the New Year. We want to make huge leaps of progress overnight, but real growth is a slow and steady journey.
Next time: Take it one step at a time. Go in with reasonable expectations and be patient. It's not about how much you achieve and how quickly. Focus on one, really important goal. Put one foot in front of the other each and every day. Momentum will naturally build as you make incremental improvement.
6. You weren't accountable to anyone.
Sure, you wanted to succeed. But, in the dark of night when you're all alone, it's easy to get persuaded by that nagging negative voice inside your head. You know the one. The voice that says you're not cut out for this. An accountability partner helps keep you focused and on track, even when you think you're ready to throw in the towel.
Next time: Find one person who promises to hold you accountable. When you say you're going to do something, this person follows up to make sure you've stayed true to your word. An accountability partner will help silence the saboteur in your head. (And of course, if you need assistance, I'd love to help out.)
7. It wasn't that important in the first place.
Perhaps you set a goal others wanted you to set. Or one you felt you "should" set. That's not very motivating. It's easy to give up on something that never really mattered that much to you in the first place.
Next time: Choose a goal that matters. Don't do it for anyone else but YOU. If it's not something you truly believe in, you'll never succeed.
8. You're afraid of success.
This sounds counter-intuitive, I know. Truth be told, a lot of goals sound great in theory but once you actually start thinking of what life will be like once it's accomplished, fear can easily set in. Sometimes, we're so attached to who we are and life as we know it-flaws and all-we unconsciously sabotage ourselves.
Next time: Be prepared for this. Recognize fear is just another part of the process. Think long and hard about what you want from life and what you're capable of. While it's scary to push past your pre-conceived limits, it's also a necessary part of self-growth. Use fear to fire yourself up.
(Also, consider checking out the awesome e-course called "Fear to Fuel" created by the incredibly talented Karl Staib. This program does a great job of helping you analyzing where fear is coming from and how it can be transformed into motivation.)
So happy New Year everyone! Oh, and in case you need a reminder, you're awesome. Anything you want, you can achieve. I have faith in you, no matter what the stupid research says about stupid New Year's resolutions.