My favourite product of then wide-ranging McVitie's portfolio is the largely underrated BN biscuit. Once the subject of an annoying noughties singalong advert, two slabs of biscuits are wedged either side of a thick coating of your favourite flavour to deliver a heavenly after-school snack – in the days when lunches resembled thimbles of distorted gruel.
If you were anything like me, who was acutely aware the rich flavoursome paste, whether it be vanilla, chocolate or strawberry, was cheekily never evenly spread between the two biscuits, I would negotiate the edges of the treat before indulging on the sensational filling on the inside knowing my throat was not being clogged by dry crumbs from the outer edges. Eating smart, and from the outside, in.
But for outgoing United Biscuits chief executive Martin Glenn, it is the opposite concept he is about to come accustomed to. Due to join the Football Association in May, the 54-year-old will encounter racism being resuscitated by supporters, sexism prevalent in all levels of the game and spitting and diving remaining unmoved.
Then there's the issue of ticket prices reaching astronomical levels, fans being subjected to ludicrously timed away trips, managers conducting themselves shamefully and the FA itself hatching barbaric plans to revolutionise the game. In other words, a sport eating away at itself from the inside.
The announcement regarding Glenn's appointment comes at the end of a fortnight where all of these unmanaged issues have been highlighted and means the in-tray awaiting the new FA CEO will be full to the brim upon the beginning of his tenure on 18 May.
Racism is still raising its ugly head in football
Glenn must first help tackle increasing bouts of racism and prejudice within the game. The warning that the banning of Luis Suarez and John Terry should have represented has not been adhered to and now racism in football is on a runaway train, with the FA struggling to keep up. Currently a funding partner of the Kick It Out charity, it must put its money where its mouth is – Glenn will know all about that.
A form of the "Rooney rule" must also be implemented without delay to ensure equal opportunities are given to managers and those on the front-line of clubs. The FA must work with clubs to ensure that, while their long-term vision is not affected, they can help promote equality.
Sides must introduce better means of identifying bouts of racism in the stands. Text messages and mobile apps are all well and good but high-definition cameras are in all too short supply. Banning orders are active but clubs must be forced to ensure they are not being breached, as many are.
Such measures are more realistic if players and managers dramatically improve their behaviour. The FA must lead way the way in firmer punishments for not only incidents of racism, which currently stands at four games, but for all breaches of misconduct. Comparatively, six-match bans for spitting appears awfully unbalanced given the seriousness of other incidents and only highlights how the FA's priorities are a mess.
More women in the game would be positive
Sexism is another issue that is riddled throughout the game. Charlton Athletic CEO Katrien Meire and Mansfield Town chief executive Caroline Still represent two of the only women in prominent positions within football clubs. Though Heather Rabbatts is installed as an FA director, perhaps if more women were a regular fixture in high-profile roles, we would not see a repeat of the awful abuse that has been directed at Chelsea physio Dr Eva Carneiro or assistant referee Helen Byrne.
But restructuring English football's stance on key cultural values is not the only challenge facing Glenn. The FA has lost a grip on the control of the sport, allowing the Premier League, clubs and giant media organisations to dictate. The scheduling of matches, tickets prices and the distribution of television funds must all be assessed.
If the FA would refrain from hosting FA Cup semi-finals at a bank-account enhancing Wembley Stadium or condoning unfeasible kick-off times for away fans in its competitions, it might help convince others its cause is genuine.
If the FA's selfishness is objective, then surely it is undeniable when it comes to plans to re-establish the Great Britain Olympic football team. Its blueprint to improve the amount of English players throughout the game has seen it target and attempt to devalue the lower leagues and now its attention has turned to rival associations.
After stating London 2012 would be a standalone event, the FA wants the team reformed for Rio 2016, though Welsh and Scottish FA's are already against the move, which could affect their individual status in the eyes of Fifa. The vision of FA chairman Greg Dyke is an admiral one but the approach has so far been to relinquish power from other areas.
So, Glenn enters the FA hot seat with an entire governing body to restructure, a game falling to pieces and the sport on the precipice of ruin. That is the way the cookie crumbles. Get used to it.