Fuel tanker drivers going on strike and public may start panic buying petrol
Fuel tanker drivers going on strike and public may start panic buying petrol (Reuters) Reuters

With a senior government minister advising motorists to pop down to their local petrol station and bathe in unleaded while they still have the chance, IBTimes UK takes a look at how the public can manage the impending fuel tanker drivers strike.

Feel free to add your own suggestions in the comments below...

Walk

Britain is increasingly becoming a nation of lazy chubsters, struggling to lift our hammy limbs while flicking between the abysmal television channels being laser-beamed straight into our stupid brains.

So, Fatty, why not take this opportunity to roll yourself to work for a change, rather than taking up three seats on a train?

Use a Bike

Cycling also has health benefits and is a lot cheaper than filling your car with petrol.

Although going by recent traffic accident figures involving bikes, particularly in London, you might die.

Public Transport

Yes, a lot of people smell and, yes, most of those smelly people are oddballs who seem to have the sole occupation of spending their days travelling around on Britain's public transport network, gassing out carriages and frightening people by trying to discuss their "theories" about the Illuminati and the New World Order.

When needs must, however, you have to just put a peg on your nose and get the bus.

Work from Home

You can avoid travelling altogether if you can "work from home", aka putting your feet up in front of Jeremy Kyle, getting angry at his boorish and patronising attempts to sort out Britain's feral underclass with a combination of yelling, pointing out that it is his show and getting his mate Graham to mop up the social mess he leaves behind, while you halfheartedly answer emails from your laptop.

Pull a Sickie

For those who can't even be bothered to "work from home".