Professor Green has revealed that he has put off starting a family with his wife Millie Mackintosh because he is still haunted by his father Peter Manderson's suicide. The 31-year-old UK rapper admitted that that he is so fearful that he could also follow his father's tragic path that he sought professional help at the end of 2014.
Speaking to the Mail On Sunday, the Read All About hit-maker said that he was particular worried about genetic implications for his unborn child. "I think there's a genetic link with depression and suicide," he said. "My dad did it and his brother did it."
He added: "I felt it was right to take precautions by going to therapy and trying to fix myself, because – being happily married – children are the next logical step."
The musician said that while he was yet to have suicidal thoughts, there have been "a lot of dark, difficult days over the years".
Green, real name Stephen Manderson, has spoken out numerous times about his strong desire to help encourage depression sufferers to seek support, particularly men. Back in June, he fronted a BBC Three documentary called Professor Green On Suicide, in which he met families who had lost relatives to suicide and visited centres that support sufferers of severe depression.
"Society likes to tell you that you have to be happy all the time, and it's easy to think that if you're not happy, then there's something wrong with you," Green wrote in a piece for The Guardian. "If anything comes from this documentary, it's that we should not feel ashamed or embarrassed to open up and talk to those around us about our feelings, in particular, young men."
Despite his personal struggles, he knows his wife Millie Mackintosh, heiress to the Quality Street confectionery fortune, believes he will be a wonderful father. "We've been married two years, but I've always kept [my dad's suicide] out of our relationship. There was one time early on when my nan brought out my embarrassing childhood pictures and we came across one of me and my dad, and I burst into tears. But it is not up to Millie to fix me. Only I can do that."