Some like to go big on Valentine's Day. They break out expensive bottles of wine, book fancy restaurants and buy enormous teddy bears! Nothing wrong with that, but others like to keep it small, with a mid-range supermarket wine, vanilla scented candles and a movie.

What film to watch though? A romantic comedy would seem the obvious choice but Valentine's Day is a sickeningly sweet and sappy day at the best of times, so maybe something with a little more spice and variety should be on the cards, maybe something neither of you have seen before?

This can be dangerous territory. Choose wisely and you're night will end well... maybe very well... choose poorly and it could be curtains for your relationship. Seriously, choose well.

Here are some films to avoid. Ten of the very worst date night movies.

The Notebook

Men be warned: This slushy Nicholas Sparks adaptation may well be a ladies favourite, but only because Ryan Gosling portrays a 100% perfect human man.

That's what makes it one to avoid. The ending could provoke your other half to thank their lucky stars for being in a loving and tender relationship, or they might question why you've never built them a house.

Why didn't you build her a house? What kind of man are you anyway?

Marley and Me

Spoiler alert: The dog dies. You see it coming for the very start as well, and the film is so syrupy sweet and it drags on for so long that you'll find yourself praying for doggy death well before it actually happens.

Praying for the death of a dog, fictional or not, will probably not endear you to your nearest and dearest.

Schindler's List

Come on now, you don't need me telling you why this is a terrible idea.

Requiem For a Dream

Requiem For a Dream isn't just dark, it is an unrelenting 100 minutes of pure misery that won't just ruin your mood for the day, but maybe for a whole week.

Darren Aronofsky's chronicle of drug addicts lives devastated by substance, desperation and relapse makes his later effort Black Swan look like a Pixar movie in comparison. It's the kind of film you only watch once, and certainly not with anyone you care about.


This is a film about a married couple who go on holiday to rekindle their relationship.

Sounds like the set up for a nice rom com right? That's because I missed out the part about genital mutilation.

(500) Days Of Summer

Joseph Gordon-Levitt? Good. Zooey Deschanel? Good. Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Deschanel being all cute and quirky together? Very good.

A reminder of the crushing depression of a failed relationship, packaged up in a whimsical indie comedy designed to give the heartbroken hope? Probably not the best idea for 14 February.

Hostel (Also, Pretty Much All Horror Movies That Aren't Funny)

Gore, dismemberment and melting eyeballs might not sit well with your hastily-made post-work spag bol and Co-op garlic ciabatta bread. Hostel, Saw, The Human Centipede, best to avoid all of them.

Generally best to stay away from gore porn as a general life rule, but that goes doubly so on the designated annual day of luuuuurrrvve.

We Need To Talk About Kevin

Was it nature or nurture that turned Kevin Khatchadourian into a bow and arrow-wielding high school killer? It's a question delved into wonderfully in Lynne Ramsay's haunting tale - but a good date movie it is not.

You can file this under the same category as Requiem of a Dream. Both great films, but they leave you with no desire to ever watch them again.

Revolutionary Road

Awww, Leo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet reunited. "Maybe this is what would have happened if their characters Jack and Rose had survived Titanic," pondered many viewers (probably) before watching this film.

Problem is they would soon discover it is in fact about a married couple suffocated by suburbia, turning to booze and infidelity for a little excitement in their lives.

Still though, it could have a happy ending right? WRONG.

Blue Valentine

A completely different kettle of fish to that other Ryan Gosling film about love, Blue Valentine follows a relationship from initial romance through to its slow, painful death.

A film so miserable it even turns Gosling into an unappealing, overbearing brute.