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Apple will report results after the closing bell on Tuesday, and analysts expect annual revenue to exceed $100 billion, maybe by as much as $10 billion.

So the iPhone5 is coming to a store near you, maybe. Nobody knows for a fact when Apple are to release the mobile phone, although some have told us that the iPhone5 is actually out. It is not. Do not panic people.

I write this as an extremely concerned citizen for the mental health of a large section of the Earth's population. In some ways this is a public service announcement, at the very least it is a state of the Earth address. How can the release of a mobile phone send people into such mayhem?

Maybe I have missed the point completely, but that is difficult to believe. Maybe, just maybe, people are fully aware that the iPhone5 is not on the shelves and have not bought into the rumours and gossip columns that have sprung up over the past weeks.. Sadly, I do not believe that for one moment and I will continue

As you may have already realised, the first thing to point out in this piece is that this writer has no expertise or experience as a technology journalist. Simply, I am a concerned citizen and as a humanities graduate, it is the behaviour of people that is so baffling, and that is what this article will aim to explore, nay expose.

For the very dull human beings who believed that this article would contain 'tech spec' and why the iPhone5 will disappoint you in that way I am afraid you will be disappointed and for that I offer no apologies. The point of this piece of work is to try and delve into the minds of those people who claim 'to know' when the iPhone5 will be released and to pose the question, why do people care?

'How do they know? Do they know somebody I don't?'

These are the questions I am sure the internet has been asking itself and I have no doubt that people have been getting wound up over it. What is there to care about really? If we take a piece of technology to its simplest form, the iPhone5 will simply be the same as every other piece of technology on the market place today.

It will look very stylish, it will run out of battery in a matter of hours, you will fear for your life walking around with it and you wont be able to get signal at the top of a hill. Nobody on this planet can tell me that those problems wont exist, so what is the point in getting excited or worse, worked up.

I sometimes worry about the people who care so much about these launches. This writer is not one to stereotype but comic book guy from the Simpson's always comes into my head when I think of people sitting outside of shops for hours on end. If you have been sitting around waiting for the iPhone5 and have missed a programme called The Simpson's, basically comic book guy is a rather large chap, who owns a comic book store and for want of a better phrase, is a first class nerd.

Now for those people who are still reading, I am not an Apple hater. This article is not an attack on the company, if anything I am a huge fan of their products - note the word product. I was taught along the way to make relationships with people not a mobile phone and maybe that is the reason I don't get it.

I have owned most of the iPod's that have been sold and I currently have an iPad2 in my collection of useless gadgets that have made my life harder and less secure. I digress somewhat. What I am trying to put across is the product came out and I went and purchased one. Very very simple, almost too simple wouldn't you say? I did not watch a live event and I certainly didn't sit outside a shop for hours freezing my toes off.

I have come to the conclusion that people want to have the latest gadget but it is more than that. They want to know that you know that they have that latest gadget. If people believe that somebody might get their hands on a product such as the iPhone5 before they do, they panic which has allowed people to simply make up release dates.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to have the iPhone5, but lets all just calm down for a minute. It will make telephone calls, send texts and go on the internet. You will still be able to neglect your wife on your wedding night by playing Angry Birds and you will look cool in the process. So lets all just relax and get on with our lives.