The best jokes from Philip 'Spreadsheet Phil' Hammond in his Budget 2017 speech

Chancellor Philip Hammond is not a man well-known for his charisma. He looks and sounds like a tax accountant with all the charm of a receipt machine.

But do not judge a Budget document by its cover. 'Spreadsheet Phil' treated the House of Commons like it was Jongleurs when he delivered his last 2017 Spring Budget, knocking the punters bandy.

A clever ruse, perhaps, to divert attention from the debt and deficit, or that austerity is far from over.

Or maybe the millionaire entrepreneur and ageing Essex boy wanted to use the platform to change his public image.

But whatever his motives, Hammond had at least one side of the Commons chamber creasing up.

Here are the best of Spreadsheet Phil's Budget gags;

On career longevity:

Twenty-four years ago Norman Lamont also presented what was billed then as 'the last Spring Budget'. He reported on an economy that was growing faster than any other in the G7, and he committed to continued restraint in public spending.

The then prime minister described it as the 'right budget, at the right time, from the right chancellor'. What they failed to remind me was... 10 weeks later, he was sacked! So wish me luck today.

On his nickname:

This is the spreadsheet bit, but bear with me because I have a reputation to defend.

On Ed Balls's old "flat-lining" hand gesture to taunt George Osborne when he read out OBR forecasts.

I don't see too many people on the opposition front bench doing this anymore [makes Ed Balls's old hand gesture at Tory MPs, who find it hilarious].

On Labour's election hopes:

By the way, they don't call it the last Labour government for nothing.

On Labour supporter and physicist Stephen Hawking calling for Jeremy Corbyn to quit:

[Jeremy Corbyn] is so far down a black hole that even Stephen Hawking has disowned him.

On driverless cars and Corbyn:

...a technology I believe the party opposite knows something about.

On Conservatives and the NHS:

As the voters of Copeland so clearly understood, we are the party of the NHS.

Corbyn was pretty unimpressed by it all.

But Theresa May loved it.