Robin Hood – people’s champion or medieval loan shark?
Dispelling the myths and uncovering the dark truths behind legendary characters.
Robin Hood, Willy Wonka, Scrooge McDuck, King Arthur and Bruce Wayne - legends and heroes, one and all. Or are they? Beneath the benevolent exterior and the layers of media hype lie introverted slavers, brutal loan sharks and unscrupulous business tycoons.
Are these characters really the heroes we thought them to be? We unveil the dark truth behind the legends.
Robin Hood
The Myth
Selfless do-gooder who ran around Sherwood Forest, robbing from the rich to give to the poor.
The Dark Truth
An outlaw, a brigand and a loan shark. Stole from the innocent, who had done nothing wrong except pursue the capitalist ideals of working hard to achieve success and earn money. After terrorising the local people of Nottingham and forcing up local taxation to cover government losses, Robin then proceeded to profit from offering exorbitant loans to the needy, with a hefty interest rate and sky-high APR.
Willy Wonka
The Myth
Kind, if eccentric, chocolatier who fashioned marvellous candy bars in his factory of wonders.
The Dark Truth
Reclusive nutjob who imposed a lifetime of slave labour on an indigenous people. Without really understanding the cultural heritage of the Oompa-Loompas, Wonka decided to ethnically cleanse Loompaland with empty promises of chocolate and gainful employment. Generations of poor Oompa-Loompas are then caught in a vicious cycle of intense manual labour, unable to buy their freedom given their ridiculously low salary. Wonka also had a disturbing interest in torturing young children in trials to be his successor.
Scrooge McDuck
The Myth
Rich family man (err... duck) whose leisure activities involve archaeology, travel, swimming and playing with his three great nephews.
The Dark Truth
A greedy and tight-fisted egomaniac obsessed with retaining his title as World Richest Duck. Scrooge amassed his vast fortune by being "smarter than the smarties, and tougher than the toughies" in business, which if you read between the lines means he was a heartless and calculating venture capitalist. Unafraid to tear a company apart to sell off prize individual assets in order to create even more wealth for himself, Scrooge was a merciless, cut-throat business tycoon.
King Arthur
The Myth
Wise and noble King, uniting a nation against threats and bringing peace unto Britain.
The Dark Truth
A usurper of the crown with a penchant for extravagant swords. Depending on which legend you prescribe to, Arthur was either a bastard son of Uther Pendragon or a Roman general - either way, he wasn't a real King. Arthur may have ruled Britain, but if he did so it was with an iron fist and much bloodshed, not diplomacy, and his ascension to rule was not as a legitimate heir.
Bruce Wayne
The Myth
By day a generous and enigmatic businessman - by night, an extraordinary crime fighter and saviour of Gotham City.
The Dark Truth
Unscrupulous businessman happy to sell anything in order to make a quick buck to fund his nocturnal passions. The reason Batman is able to tackle villains such as The Joker, Penguin and Two-Face is because Wayne Enterprises is raking in the cash selling anything and everything it can. Weapons, disruptive technology, biotech, drugs, chemicals, electronics - you name it, Wayne Enterprises sells it, and is none too worried about who they sell to, provided the price is right.
Sources:
http://www.forbes.com/lists/2005/fictional/10.html
http://www.forbes.com/lists/2005/fictional/08.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/DuckTales
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wayne_Enterprises
Pic sources:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/webwallpapers/3936100116/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/elstruthio/4417713732/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/neeyumi/3793522831/
http://www.islandbreath.org/2009Year/2009-08/090820mcduck.jpg
http://www.flickr.com/photos/martyn/182565687/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/shaunwong/3016945105/
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