Cara Delevingne has revealed she was suicidal during her teenage years. The model-turned-actress said she was just 16 when she started taking prescription pills to subdue her suicidal thoughts.
During an interview with Esquire magazine, the 23-year-old star said she began to "feel things again" after ditching the pills. The actress said she lost her virginity at the age of 18 after she stopped taking antidepressants.
"That week, I lost my virginity, I got into fights, I cried, I laughed. It was the best thing in the world to feel things again," Delevingne said. (via The Mirror).
"And I get depressed still, but I would rather learn to figure it out myself than be dependent on meds, ever. I hate meds. I don't agree with them. It's so easy to abuse them."
The Suicide Squad actress further said all she wanted to do was die because the pressure of doing well at school led her to have a mental meltdown.
"When it got to being a teenager, and all the hormones and the pressure and wanting to do well at school, I had a mental breakdown," she said. "I was suicidal. I couldn't deal with it any more. I realised how lucky I was and privileged I was, but all I wanted to do was die."
"I felt so guilty because of that and hated myself because of that, and then it's a cycle. I didn't want to exist anymore. I wanted for each molecule of my body to disintegrate. I wanted to die."
Recently, the actress disclosed she is "completely in love" with girlfriend Annie Clark aka musician St Vincent.
"I'm completely in love. Before, I didn't know what love was – real love. I didn't understand the depth of it. I always used to think it was you against the world," she said for the September cover of Vogue.
"Now I know the meaning of life is love. Whether that's for yourself or for the world or your partner," she added.