Former reigning women's bantamweight champion Ronda Rousey has revealed how she thought about suicide following her surprise defeat to Holly Holm at UFC 193. The 29-year-old was a clear favourite going into the fight at Melbourne's Etihad Stadium in December 2015, yet was rocked early on and eventually succumbed to a brutal second-round knockout loss that saw her lose her title – as well as an impressive unbeaten record in mixed martial arts, that had previously stood at 12-0.
Appearing in an emotional interview on the Ellen DeGeneres show on 16 February, she said: "Honestly, my thought was like, in the medical room and I was down in the corner. I was sitting in the corner and I was like, 'what am I anymore if I'm not this?' I was literally sitting there and thinking about killing myself and that exact second I'm like: 'I'm nothing, what do I do anymore? And no-one gives a sh*t about me anymore without this'.
"To be honest, I looked up and saw my man Travis [Browne] was standing there. I looked up at him and I was just like 'I need to have his babies. I need to stay alive'. Really that was it. I haven't told anybody that. I think I only told him that. But that was what I was thinking. I was meant to have him when I was at my lowest, for sure. I don't know if I would have made it without him.
"I did a lot of thinking and I'm like, why did this happen? Why did this have to happen like this? Because I do believe that all the best things come from the worst things. Every worst thing that happened in my life resulted in the absolute best things. I'm trying to think, what is the reason of all this? I'm thinking what my actual purpose is and maybe just winning all the time isn't what's best for everybody.
"Everyone has their moment of picking themselves off the floor and I'd gone through several of mine, but no-one had actually seen me go through it. Maybe I just had to be that example of picking myself off the floor for everyone. Maybe that's what I'm meant for.
"I really do believe I'm still undefeated because being defeated is a choice. Everybody has losses in their life but I choose to always be undefeated."
Asked who she would like to fight next, Rousey added: "Of course I want to fight Holly. I want to beat her and make everything right again... I want to be the one to beat her."
Undefeated Holm, a former boxer and kickboxer, is set to make the first defence of her title against fellow American and former Rousey opponent Miesha Tate at UFC 196 next month. The bout will take place at the MGM Grand Garden Arena in Las Vegas, Nevada, on 5 March as the co-main event alongside men's featherweight title-holder Conor McGregor's attempt to beat Rafael dos Anjos and become the company's first two-weight world champion.
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