Zach Woods Mocks Kelly Clarkson's $15,000 Bird Drama With Twisted Joke About 'Buying' Shop Owner's Freedom

Actor and comedian Zach Woods has mocked Kelly Clarkson's $15,000 (£11,281) bird controversy with a bizarre satirical monologue about buying a Brooklyn shop owner's freedom, hiring him as an 'indentured servant' and flaunting his wealth. His outrageous remarks targeted the dispute between Clarkson and Art of Play, where an expensive mechanical bird sparked a public feud over alleged mistreatment and celebrity privilege.

Woods admitted he did not know what actually happened between Clarkson and the store before launching into a fictional account of his supposed encounter with its owner.

Zach Woods Jokes About Buying Art of Play Owner's Freedom

'I don't know what happened with Kelly Clarkson and the Art of Play store, but I had my own negative experience there,' Woods began.

He joked that he had been wandering around Brooklyn searching for an indentured servant when he spotted the shop owner.

Woods claimed the man's beard suggested he had enough testosterone to handle physically demanding work.

He then imagined approaching the owner with an extraordinary proposition.

'I would like to hire you slash indenture you as a servant for a period of time in which you forgo your autonomy and you do labor for me,' Woods recalled telling him.

When the fictional owner refused, Woods pretended to become offended.

'Do you think I'm poor? Do you think I'm poor?' he exclaimed.

The comedian then joked about displaying his financial status.

'So now I wear a loose tie all the time. So people know I'm rich enough to temporarily buy off somebody else's freedom.'

Zach Woods Makes Graphic Jokes About Art of Play Shop Owner

Woods' monologue took a more provocative turn when he introduced graphic hypothetical scenarios involving the shop owner.

He initially insisted that he respected the business and wished it no harm.

'I respect them as a small business. I wish them no harm,' he said.

However, Woods immediately followed that statement with outrageous suggestions involving someone biting the owner's thigh or using shop merchandise in a sexually explicit act.

The remarks were part of his fictional performance, not an account of actual threats or incidents.

Zach Woods Ridicules Kelly Clarkson's $15,000 Bird Dispute

Woods eventually returned to the mechanical bird at the centre of Clarkson's disagreement with Art of Play.

'The point is, we've all been in the situation of trying to buy a $15,000 bird and not being allowed to,' he joked.

'You know, it's celebrities, they're just like us.'

Describing himself as an 'F to Z list celebrity', Woods sarcastically suggested he had experienced the same expensive shopping predicament more times than he cared to admit.

What Happened Between Kelly Clarkson and Art of Play?

The controversy began on 10 October when Clarkson accused an Art of Play employee of treating her condescendingly after she enquired about purchasing a singing mechanical bird named Molly.

Clarkson alleged that a worker suggested she could not afford the $15,000 (£11,281) item, comparing her experience to Julia Roberts' treatment in Pretty Woman.

Art of Play disputed her account, explaining that Molly was a permanent display and that the quoted price referred to a nearly identical automaton owned by its creator.

Clarkson subsequently challenged the explanation, sharing images of what she said was the displayed price tag.

The shop's co-owner, Adam Rubin, has since accused Clarkson's public criticism of triggering online harassment against the business and its employees. The shop has also placed a new $15 million (£11.28 million) asking price on Molly.