The Sexuality That Feels 'Alien': What Nebulasexual Means as More People Come Out

Nebulasexual is a term that has begun appearing more frequently in conversations about sexuality, yet for many, it remains poorly understood.

At first glance, the name may sound cosmic, even comical. Someone unfamiliar with the term might assume it has something to do with space, science fiction or extraterrestrials.

In reality, nebulasexuality has nothing to do with the stars, but for those who identify with it, attraction and desire can feel just as distant or hard to grasp.

A Term Coined Online to Describe 'Clouded' Attraction

The term was first coined online in 2014 and is used to describe a sexuality that feels vague, unclear or difficult to define. Rather than referring to literal nebulas, it points to someone experiencing their sexual attraction as 'nebulous', often because of neurodivergence or intrusive thoughts, urges or mental imagery.

A person who identifies as nebulasexual may want intimacy or sexual relationships but struggle to determine whether what they feel is sexual attraction or another form of connection.

Where Nebulasexuality Fits on the Sexuality Spectrum

According to Queerdom Wiki, nebulasexuality falls under the broader quoisexual umbrella, which includes people who find it difficult to recognise or distinguish sexual attraction from other types of attraction.

It is sometimes described as a 'tertiary' orientation, meaning it can exist alongside other labels, while specifically describing uncertainty around sexual desire itself.

Why Experts Say the Experience Isn't New

Although the label is relatively new, experts say the experience it describes is not.

Speaking to Metro, psychosexual therapist and Lovehoney expert Annabelle Knight said nebulasexuality reflects feelings that have long existed but lacked clear language. She explained that neurodivergent people may process emotions, bodily sensations and social cues differently, which can make attraction harder to identify.

How Neurodivergence Can Affect Desire

For some, Knight said, sexual desire may not register in a straightforward way, leading to confusion over whether feelings are sexual, romantic or something else entirely. Rather than being about indecision, she described nebulasexuality as a way of naming a more complex emotional and sensory experience.

Research suggests neurodiversity can play a significant role in how people experience sexuality. Studies have found that neurodivergent individuals are more likely to identify as asexual or outside traditional heterosexual categories, particularly among people with autism spectrum disorder or ADHD. Difficulties with social interaction, communication and physical touch can all shape how attraction is felt or understood.

'Sexuality Is Not Always Linear'

Knight told Metro that pressure to define one's sexuality using rigid labels can sometimes increase anxiety for neurodivergent people, especially when their experiences do not fit neatly into categories such as straight, gay or asexual. She emphasised that attraction is not always linear or predictable, and that sexual identity can remain fluid over time.

Some people who identify as nebulasexual may find greater clarity as they age, while others may always experience attraction in a more abstract or shifting way. Knight stressed that both experiences are valid.

What to Do If You're Questioning Your Sexuality

For those questioning whether the label applies to them, there is no fixed checklist or requirement.

In relationships, experts advise open communication, patience and compassion. Talking honestly about comfort levels and exploring intimacy without pressure or expectations can help partners navigate uncertainty together.