Ex-Wife's £30,000 Purse Loan Becomes Flashpoint in Child Support Dispute

A viral court clip has reignited debate over whether borrowed money should be regarded as income, while UK research reveals widespread secret spending between partners. The case highlights the broader issue of financial transparency — or the lack of it — within relationships and the impact it can have when partnerships break down.

In a TikTok video that has garnered widespread attention, a judge questioned a woman who withdrew £22,400 (approximately $30,000) from a life insurance policy to buy handbags, including a Michael Kors bag. When her ex-husband sought an increase in child support, citing her apparent access to funds, tensions quickly escalated.

'He's lying,' the woman initially protested when her ex-husband claimed she had accessed additional money. However, when pressed directly by the judge, she admitted to making the withdrawal.

'You obviously came here to waste my time,' the judge said before setting child support at £908 ($1,215.97) per month, plus £149 ($200) for health insurance.

The case, shared by financial commentator Graham Stephan on TikTok, sparked a fierce debate. Stephan defended the woman, arguing that the withdrawal was a loan that required repayment — not income. 'It's not technically income,' he said. 'The child support should be based on her income, not the loans that she takes.'

The question of whether borrowed money should influence support calculations remains a contentious issue. More broadly, the case exposed a significant problem affecting millions of households: partners concealing substantial financial decisions from each other.

How Much Are UK Couples Hiding?

Recent research from AJ Bell, based on a nationally representative survey of 4,000 UK adults conducted between 7 and 14 October 2025, reveals that over half of Brits in relationships have secreted money in the past year. Specifically, 54% admitted to hidden spending, with an average concealed amount of £2,158 (around $2,888) annually. Men tend to hide more than women — £2,545 ($3,406) versus £1,769 ($2,367).

Clothing was the most common category for secret purchases among both sexes, but patterns diverged beyond that. Men were more likely to conceal spending on cigarettes, alcohol, and gambling; 19% admitted to hiding such vices. Women, meanwhile, more frequently concealed spending on beauty products, with a quarter admitting to hiding these, as well as cash gifts to children or family.

The generational divide was even more stark. Adults aged 18–34 spent an average of £4,303 ($5,759) secretly — more than 11 times the £384 ($514) concealed by those over 55.

Why Hidden Spending Threatens Your Financial Future

Laura Suter, director of personal finance at AJ Bell, warned that the cumulative effect of secret spending can threaten household stability.

'If one partner is secretly diverting money towards gambling or gifts, or another is stashing savings their other half doesn't know about, it becomes very difficult to budget properly or plan for long-term goals like buying a home, building an emergency fund, or saving for retirement,' she explained.

The research also revealed that 10% of men and 7% of women who spend secretly have invested in cryptocurrency without their partner's knowledge, exposing another layer of financial risk.

Finance expert Iona Bain told the BBC that, while some financial independence is healthy, hiding spending often indicates deeper issues. 'This kind of behaviour actually creates more conflict in the long run because it's impossible to do things like buy a house together or have children without being honest about how you spend your money,' she said.

When Secrets Become Legal Disputes

The courtroom case exemplifies how hidden spending can escalate from relationship friction to legal conflict. The debate over whether the £22,400 ($30,000) withdrawal constitutes income or debt carries significant consequences for child support calculations and the children caught in the middle.

'You don't have to report every time you buy a coffee to your partner,' Suter noted. 'But major costs, recurring habits, or anything that risks derailing a joint financial plan should be on the table.'

For couples managing finances together, maintaining transparency now may prevent costly disputes in the future.