Exceptional Actors and the movies that they wish they could keep a dark little secret
In the Name of the King
Modelled on the Role-Playing Game Dungeon Siege, In the Name of the King is a pretty good reflection of its core influence - in that they're both awful. Statham displays about as much personality in the film as the mute protagonist of the PC game and both entities feel like a lengthy grind to be endured rather than enjoyed.
This Scientology inspired ham-fest was hailed as "one of the worst films ever made" . Quite an accolade, backed up by the film's sweep of seven of the "Razzies" awards of 2000. Taking a mere $29 million worldwide compared to its $73 million budget, Battlefield Earth managed to achieve neither financial success not critical acclaim. John Travolta claimed that the script for the film was the Schindler's List of Sci-fi. Keep dreaming John, Oscar Schindler's skills would have been very useful for smuggling audiences out of the cinema to escape this god-awful film.
Basic Instinct 2
Eager for a sequel that would live up to the first Basic Instinct and maybe another moment like "that scene" (you know the one!), audiences were roundly disappointed by Basic Instinct 2: Risk addiction. While Sharon Stone's performance wasn't terrible, the film's ridiculously unrealistic plot and poor execution led to a poor performance at the box office and a painful panning from the critics.
Snakes on A Plane
Samuel L Jackson might have successfully conquered adversity in the streets, on the basketball court and in impromptu cafe hold-ups, but even he couldn't bail out a disaster at 50,000 feet. This offering is plainly awful in its execution. Landing terrible reviews, Sam couldn't stop this one crashing and burning.
Lost in Space
This kitsch piece of crap somehow managed to snag the legendary Gary Oldman. Granted, Oldman is the very best thing about this lacklustre space-romp, but this is only because his appearance and lines are amusing due their awfulness. It was hardly the acting quality that we're used to from Gary. However it was a step-up for Matt Le Blanc, who was merely terrible, maybe some of the Oldman magic rubbed off, not enough to save this space oddity though.
At least Halle Berry had the decency to laugh at herself when this purrfectly awful film picked up seven of the Razzies in 2005. Because God knows, nobody else was laughing when they had to shell out to see this in the cinema.
Batman and Robin
Both George Clooney and Chris O'Donnell should hang their masked heads in shame for this terrible caped crusader catastrophe. From the dark genius of Tim Burton's early films we were led, blinking and vainly trying to shield our eyes, into the clashing and garishly bright colours of Joel Schumacher vision of Gotham City and its dark knight... and the dark knight's irritatingly superfluous sidekick. Somehow this lame duck managed to make over $100 million, close to breaking even on the $125 movie budget. Regardless, this film should be so thoroughly deleted from the annuls of time that it would be beyond the reach of even RAID data recovery techniques.
The Australian acting heavyweight punched in a depressingly poor performance for this English folklore effort. In this instance, Russel Crowe robbed from the audience, and the poor didn't get anything out of it. He didn't even rob enough for the studio to break even; the film made back just over half of its $200 million budget.
Dungeons and Dragons
Even the mighty Jeremy Irons couldn't halt this movie's downward spiral into review oblivion. Totting up a mere $15 million, it only managed to claw back a third of the budget. This is 1h and 45 minutes of wasted time, minus the precious few minutes that Irons features in it. The movie should be consigned to the deepest darkest dungeon known in this world or the realms of fantasy.