A San Francisco couple's absurd Craigslist ad listing for a personal assistant for someone who is "chill but also gets sh*t done" is driving the internet bonkers. Posted by a couple in their 40s living the SOMA neighbourhood of San Francisco, the ad listing for the full-time or part-time personal assistant details a slew of incredibly specific qualities of their ideal candidate as well as the tasks he or she will be expected to take on in the role.
Describing themselves as biotech executives with ridiculously busy work lives, the couple describes their current issues under a section titled: "The Problem."
"We're resorting to unhealthy take-out and processed foods," the post reads. "Personal social media accounts are neglected, I buy fresh flowers but don't have time to trim daily and change the water, indoor plants are dying...nail polish gets chipped and remains chipped, investment opportunities go un-researched, and that crucial 'date night' consists of collapsing onto the sofa and watching a movie."
"Does the idea of helping us to go from zero to hero in all of the above areas make you smile OR cringe?"
The couple then goes on to list the qualities of their ideal personal assistant under a separate, particularly specific, section titled "The Solution".
"You aren't dramatic or tightly wound, however, you're also not lazy or sloth-like (nothing against sloths). You're level-headed and your friends think you have great judgment. You're down to earth, not cocky... You always know where your keys are or where your wallet is because you make it a point to place them in the same place."
They also want the candidate to "take pride in how you look - whatever that 'look' or style may be for you."
"At the same time, you also want to be practical and functional," the post explains. "You're 'bohemian chic' but avoid the giant wedges that will prevent you from hustling around town, you're 'cool hipster' but don't wear the super tight jeans that won't leave you room in your pockets to hold my dog's potty bags, you're totally 'minimalistic modern' but avoid the white on white look so you're not afraid to get dirty when cooking, etc."
Although the job is advertised as a 40-hour work week, the candidate is required to be on call 24/7 for emergencies or urgent/important matters.
The ad also goes on to lists the typical schedule and some odd requirements which include being able to "swim well in the ocean" and "protect a dog from being attacked by another dog." Compensation for the job was initially listed at $25-$30 per hour, but has since been tweaked to $15-35 per hour "due to high demand."
Bonus points will be awarded to candidates who watch Game of Thrones and Silicon Valley, can make "one-of-a-kind wood furniture pieces", giving manicures or pedicures and know how to "brush tangled hair without causing pain."
Needless to say, the internet has gone bonkers over the viral ad saying it sounds like a job for a "combo of Mary Poppins and Jason Bourne." Many also speculated that the ad must be a joke.
After the ad starting making waves on social media, the couple defending the posting saying it is "honest and transparent".
"On top of the cash compensation the person who fills the role will gain some amazing work and life experience," the couple told SFGATE over email. "Those who are offended by an offer for willful, voluntary employment ought to check their own entitlement."