Charles Spencer Cautioned Prince Harry Before Meghan Wedding, But Not 'Three Times'

Charles Spencer cautioned Prince Harry to slow down before marrying Meghan Markle, Tom Bower claims in his 2022 book Revenge. However, the book does not say Spencer warned Harry on three separate occasions. The apparent confusion comes from a sentence describing Spencer as 'three times married' before saying he cautioned his nephew.

Bower's account concerns the period before Harry and Meghan married at St George's Chapel, Windsor Castle, on 19 May 2018. Their engagement had been formally announced on 27 November 2017. The private conversation described by Bower has not been independently corroborated in the sources reviewed.

The passage has resurfaced as Charles Spencer, the 9th Earl Spencer and Diana, Princess of Wales's brother, returns to public attention. His memoir, Swan Song: Diana, My Sister, was released on 22 September 2026. The publication has prompted fresh discussion about Spencer's relationship with the royal family.

What Bower Actually Wrote About Charles Spencer

In Revenge: Meghan, Harry and the War Between the Windsors, Bower claims Harry introduced Meghan to members of Diana's family before their wedding. Those relatives included Diana's sisters, Lady Sarah McCorquodale and Lady Jane Fellowes. Bower also names Diana's close friend Julia Samuel.

According to Bower, Harry hoped they would see similarities between Meghan and his late mother. Bower claims they did not share his view and worried Meghan could struggle within the royal family. These are Bower's assertions about private conversations and should not be treated as independently established facts.

Bower then writes that Spencer became involved at Prince William's request. The relevant sentence says, 'Three times married, Spencer cautioned his nephew to reconsider his haste towards marriage.' Grammatically, 'three times married' describes Spencer rather than the number of warnings he allegedly gave Harry.

That distinction materially changes the story. A headline saying Spencer 'warned Harry three times' turns a description of Spencer's marital history into a claim about repeated interventions. The available passage supports only the narrower allegation that Spencer cautioned Harry about moving quickly towards marriage.

Bower also says the advice prompted a 'bitter reaction' from Harry. That description remains the author's account and is not supported by a public transcript of the alleged conversation. It should therefore remain clearly attributed to Bower.

Harry later said there were 'obvious signs' before the wedding that royal life with Meghan would be difficult. He made the comment during the couple's 2021 interview with Oprah Winfrey. The public interview does not establish that Harry was specifically referring to Spencer's alleged advice.

Meghan's Former Agent Also Raised Concerns, Bower Says

Bower separately describes a conversation between Meghan and her former talent agent, Gina Nelthorpe-Cowne. According to the book, Nelthorpe-Cowne warned that marrying into the royal family would end Meghan's acting career. Bower says Meghan replied, 'Gina, save it,' and rejected what she considered negativity.

That exchange should also be treated as an attributed recollection rather than a verified transcript. Descriptions in the book of Meghan's tone or expression are the author's characterisations. Repeating loaded phrases about anger or 'fury' adds little and creates unnecessary editorial risk.

Meghan did leave acting before becoming a working member of the royal family in 2018. Harry and Meghan later stepped back as working members of the royal family in 2020. The Royal Family's website continues to identify them as the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.

Their wedding remains one of the most-watched royal events of recent years, but a precise worldwide audience is difficult to establish. Nielsen recorded 29.2 million US television viewers, while UK coverage peaked at about 18 million. It is safer to say the ceremony was watched by millions worldwide than to state an unverified two-billion figure.

The core claim from Bower's book is therefore narrower than some recent headlines suggest. Spencer was described as having cautioned Harry against rushing towards marriage. The text reviewed does not support the claim that he delivered three separate warnings.