An autistic boy wrote heartbreaking suicide notes before trying to kill himself with scissors. In one of the notes, eight-year-old Jack Rogan even urged his mother to "burn him alive".
Kerry Linnell, from Dovecot, Liverpool, has narrated her son's situation as "terrible". The notes by the boy, said to be suffering from low self-esteem, were shared by Liverpool Echo.
"What is wrong with me," "I hate my life," and "I do not know who I am anymore," one set of the notes read.
In another set of notes, the boy desperately asked his mother to kill him and also pleaded for help. "I want you to burn me alive," "take me to a volcano and push in the lava," "help me mummy," and "put me in a grave and say RIP to Jacko," Rogan wrote.
"It's a terrible situation, and it just tears me apart I'm not able to give him what he needs. Jack has written notes begging me to kill him, asking who he is, 'why am I such a bad person' and 'please everyone forget me'. He asked why he had no friends and said he wanted to be put in the ground with RIP over him. As he's getting older he realises how different the world is to him, and it makes him feel like a bad person," Jack's mother told the news outlet.
"He would kick and punch me, pull my hair, bite himself and try to pull his ear off. Then he'd start sobbing afterwards and start saying those things," she added, explaining the turmoil her child was going through.
Jack, who has ASD, mental health issues and is suicidal, was taken to the Alder Hey Children's Hospital in October post a severe mental breakdown when he attempted to kill himself using a pair of scissors. However, Linnell said he was not assigned a bed in the specialist ward despite being found with severe distress levels.
Jack is still waiting for a bed in the children's mental health unit, the mother told the outlet, noting that he has been put on a ward with no mental health treatment for seven weeks now.
However, his 43-year-old mother praised the hospital staff for taking care of her son despite not being trained to support him effectively. She has now started a campaign to raise awareness about children similar to her son. She is also urging the "government to increase funding for children's mental health to prevent this level of waiting time and the dangerous gap that exists between accessible support in a crisis".
Linnell is also worried that authorities may take her son miles away for treatment in case they manage to get a bed for him elsewhere. She suspects Jack will feel abandoned if taken to a far away facility as she would not be able to afford to travel the distance everyday and meet him.
"I went into a blind panic and cried my eyes out when they said they were looking further afield for a bed. How am I meant to travel eight hours a day return to London, and afford that? He needs to understand I'm not abandoning him, but that's how he's going to feel if he doesn't see me," she explained.
"He's a little boy - he still has a blanket, a dummy and gets scared at night. If he's in London his family and friends won't be able to visit either."
During the 12 December's House of Commons meeting, Labour politician and Liverpool Wavertree MP Luciana Berger referred to Jack's case and highlighted the importance of funding for children and young people's mental health provision.
The Samaritans provides a free support service for those who need to talk to someone in the UK and Republic of Ireland. It can be contacted via Samaritans.org or by calling 116 123 (UK) or 116 123 (ROI), 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
IBTimes UK has contacted Linnell and is awaiting her response.