On 14 June, 70 years ago, a baby was born to Fred and Mary Anne Trump. The proud parents decided to call their child Donald. Yes, Donald Trump is turning 70, and this year may just be the Republican candidate's biggest yet.
We are aware the New York real estate mogul has his fair share of haters, but this being his big day, it seems appropriate to drop the protest plans and wish the man the very best.
In keeping with the occasion, IBTimes UK has rounded up five gift ideas that would be perfect for the presidential hopeful (sorry Donald, we were not able to gift wrap the White House).
1) New hairstyle
You knew this was going to be on the list. Trump asserted that his hair is his own, and deciding not to listen to claims from the now-bald troll doll, we think all the presidential candidate needs is a new hairstyle. A side-part pompadour to replace the current candyfloss swirl, perhaps?
2) The right fake tan lotion
What better way to highlight a new haircut than by low lighting the rest of Trump's face. Will someone please send the birthday boy the right shade of fake tan lotion – probably something between beige and sun-kissed – because "Cheetos" is not a skin shade suitable for anyone who is not an Oompa Loompa!
Yes, bricks. For the man who wants to build a wall bigger than the Great Wall of China, it is not going to come cheap, even if he gets Mexico to foot part of the bill. A couple of birthday bricks would go a long way in making the proposed barrier a reality... just please drop them off at his campaign office and don't simply throw them at the birthday boy!
4) Speech filter
Trump speaks his mind, unapologetically, but his campaign managers are not always happy trying to clean up the verbal diarrhoea he leaves behind. Wouldn't it be much easier to get him a speech filter that could automatically *bleep* out any politically incorrect statements he makes, rather than force him to act like he has selective memory loss.
And while we are at it, he could really do with a Twitter filter as well.
5) A degree in political science
"I went to an ivy league school... I'm very highly educated. I know words... I have the best words," Trump said at a campaign rally back in December, following which Politico reported that he talks like a third grader.
Now, a presidential candidate doesn't need to have studied political science, but in this case, it really can't do any more harm to gift him a trip back to school... as long as that school isn't Trump University.