Chrissy Teigen is opening up about the loss of her third child, whom she and husband John Legend named Jack, in a heartbreaking essay she wrote on Wednesday.

The couple and their two children have been ecstatic about welcoming Jack to the family. Fans followed her pregnancy on social media; from the happy moments to the worrying days when she had to be on bed rest and bled more than her monthly period.

Yet, nothing could have prepared everyone, least of all Teigen and Legend, for the sad news that they would have to say goodbye to their third child. The "Cravings" author shared that she suffered from partial placenta abruption which meant her baby was not getting the right amount of fluid to survive.

"The fluid around Jack had become very low — he was barely able to float around. At some points, I swore it was so low I could lay on my back and feel his arms and legs from outside my belly," Teigen wrote on the website Medium.

"After a couple nights at the hospital, my doctor told me exactly what I knew was coming — it was time to say goodbye. He just wouldn't survive this, and if it went on any longer, I might not either," she added and said that the "bags and bags of blood transfusions" were futile.

"Late one night, I was told it would be time to let go in the morning. I cried a little at first, then went into full-blown convulsions of snot and tears, my breath not able to catch up with my own incredibly deep sadness," she recalled and admitted that she can "feel the pain all over again" as she wrote her essay.

"Oxygen was placed over my nose and mouth, and that was the first picture you saw. Utter and complete sadness," she continued.

— chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) October 1, 2020

The 34-year old also addressed the criticism she received after she documented the loss of her baby on social media. She said she couldn't care less about the hate and other people's thoughts. She explained that she shared her pregnancy loss for those "who have lived this or are curious enough to wonder what something like this is like" and for those who "only need them."

She shared that her mum and Legend each took turns saying their private goodbyes to Jack in between sobs. She also kissed her baby's hands and feet repeatedly for nearly an hour.

"I dunno how long he had been waiting to be delivered for. That will probably always haunt me. Just writing it makes my nose and eyes tingle with tears. All I know now is his ashes are in a small box, waiting to be put into the soil of a tree in our new home, the one we got with his room in mind," Teigen added.

Despite the grief, Teigen is thankful for those who sent their well-wishes and prayers. She thanked those who shared inspiring stories and who helped make the moving on bearable. She said her baby Jack "will always be loved."

John Legend Chrissy Teigen
John Legend and Chrissy Teigen attend the 2016 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 20 Frederick M. Brown/Getty