Nintendo Switch launch title 1-2 Switch is a fun and bizarre spiritual successor to the Wario Ware series that demonstrates the functionality of the new home/handheld console's two Joy-Con controllers.
Motion controls, HD Rumble and the right-hand Joy-Con's infrared camera are all put to use in 28 bite-size games designed not just for multiplayer, but for multiplayer that's focused on each other and not the screen.
These games will see players swing swords, take part in western shoot-outs, play table tennis and baseball, speed-eat sandwiches, cast spells and... milk cows. Naturally. How though, do the game's rank? Here's your definitive* ranking, from best to worst.
*It's just a fun game it doesn't matter too much.
We called this game "udder filth" (ha ha... ha) after playing it back in January, and Milk still holds up now. There's a bizarrely realistic motion to recreate with the Joy-Con controller and its two shoulder buttons that mimics milking an udder, which would be a strange enough action if the game didn't also demand you stare into your opponent's eyes. You could always refuse to do that of course, like my flatmate's girlfriend understandably did.
2. Boxing Gym
After Wii Sports there had to be a game about the sweet science in 1-2 Switch, and Boxing Gym doesn't disappoint. Rather than a mad flurry, Boxing Gym is about players responding to a voice commanding a straight punch, a hook or an uppercut, with the fastest play to react landing the blow. The winner is whoever lands the most.
3. Fake Draw
Nintendo demonstrated 1-2 Switch with Quick Draw, a shoot-out between two players who must react the quickest to point and shoot their Joy-Con controller at their opponent when the game's old west voice says, "Fire!". It's fun, but Fake Draw improves it by throwing in words like "Four!" and "Five!" to keep players on their toes.
The 28th and final (for now) game on 1-2 Switch is Gorilla. Rather than being Harambe Simulator 2017, its a contest between two gorillas competing to woo a lady gorilla hiding in a rustling bush. This is done with a Simon Says game of beating your chest in time to certain beats.
5. Samurai Training
In Samurai Training, players are tasked with swinging a sword down on their opponent's head and hoping they're unable to catch it between their hands. After a count of three players are able to swing the sword down, but when they choose within a timed period. It's all mind-games.
6. Plate Spin
Another game that's more about the interaction between players than the actions they make, players must create a motion that keeps a plate spinning atop their Joy-Con, while hoping to make their opponent drop theirs. One of few games on here that could result in out-and-out violence.
7. Air Guitar
Both players try to out-shred each other as they play air guitar along to music and pump their fists in the air when the singer yells "Come on!". Whoever does this the best wins. It's air guitar, so of course it's fun.
8. Quick Draw
Exactly like Fake Draw, but without the fun additional layer.
9. Eating Contest
This is more fun to watch than play, as players chomp on imaginary sandwiches as rapidly as possible in front of the IR camera, which looks for the correct biting action. The maniacal mastication never gets old.
In this game, the Joy-Con measures the sway of your hips and fabulousness of your strut along a fashion runway. Another game great for laughing at the expense of your mates.
11. Signal Flag
In this mini-game players must hold out their arm in four direction as directed by the game's narrator. However, in the twist that makes Signal Flag great, players are required to do as the female narrator request but do the opposite of what the male narrator says. The result isn't as simple as it sounds.
12. Dance Off
In Dance Off players simultaneously dance like lunatics, accumulating points for... whatever the Switch determines as good dancing. At various points you'll have to freeze your pose, with bonus points for how well you stay still.
13. Copy Dance
Fairly self-explanatory this one. Players take it turn to strike poses with the other player judged on how well they can mimic the movement and position. The freedom to strike any pose makes it fun.
Like many other 1-2 Switch games, Baseball is about timing and the game's sound design. With one player pitching and the other swinging, the bowler must choose how to pitch his throw and the batter must time their swing.
15. Table Tennis
Another one based on timing and listening. Players must face each other and create simple table tennis forehand, backhand and serve motions, but the trick is doing so with the right timing as indicated by the sound a ball being hit, it travelling and bouncing off the virtual table. You may wonder how you managed to hit the net sometimes, but the result is undoubtedly fun.
16. Safe Crack
In Safe Crack, you and a pal play robbers trying to crack their way into two safes the fastest. This is done by holding the Joy-Con like a safe's dial and turning it 360 degrees to find the position it needs to be held in. The first player to do this three times wins. The sensation of feeling each tiny click is fantastically recreated by the HD Rumble, and certainly makes the game.
In this game, each Joy-Con is a treasure chest hauled from the sea but wrapped in metal chains. The object of the game is to be the first to fully unwrap their chest. A great way of demonstrating the fidelity of each Switch's motion controls.
18. Sword Fight
Sword Fight is fun (it is sword fighting after all), but more frantic and flailing than measured. The object is to swing on a horizontal or vertical plane, and block accordingly with the press of a trigger when necessary. If both players start swinging from other directions, however, it becomes a bit of a mess.
Perhaps the most knackering game in 1-2 Switch, Zen simply requires players to hold a yoga-style pose for as long as possible. Each large or shaky movement the player makes will whittle down an incense candle, with the first to extinguish their's losing the game.
Shaving a virtual beard is much more fun than you might thinking. The object is to be the first to remove 100% of the face fuzz without being able to see what you're doing.
21. Ball Count
Take a wild guess what you do in this game? The balls being totted up are hidden inside a wooden box replicated by each Joy-Con. Players will have the same amount of balls to judge the number of, with whoever gets the correct answer winning the game.
A wizard battle ripped straight out of Harry Potter.
23. Joy Con Rotation
The most boring 1-2 Switch game? Probably, but there's something compelling about it. In Joy Con Rotation players must rotate their Joy Con one-handed and are measured on the amount of degrees they manage. In three attempts they must try to accumulate the best score. Tilt the Joy Con too much or move too quickly and that turn won't be counted. Surprisingly stressful.
The simplest game in 1-2 Switch sees players racing to pick up their Joy-Con (acting as a phone) first after it starts to ring. To improve the game, you could set players at other ends up the room, or hide the Joy Cons around the room or in a pile of clothing.
The only 1-2 Switch game that requires the Switch screen to be undocked. With both Joy Con controllers attached to the screen, each player must cradle it like a baby and rock it to send it to sleep before setting it down carefully on a flat surface. Just about weird enough that it's fun, but it soon loses even that appeal.
26. Beach Flag
Breaking out your red swimsuit and heading to the beach sounds a lot more fun than running on the spot and raising your hand when asked, which sadly is all that Beach Flag really is.
27. Sneaky Die
Each Joy Con represents a cup with dice in. Each player shakes their's and places it down. It then vibrates to indicate the number of the opposing player has rolled, with pairs counting for bonus points. The objective is to convince your opponent they need to roll again, which they're able to do up to three times. After that third time, or whenever the player decides to stick with their current roll, they can do so. The player with the highest total wins.
A little too convoluted to be great fun, unfortunately.
28. Soda Shake
Like pass the parcel but with a "soda" bottle (because Nintendo doesn't want it to be booze apparently), players must shake with the the right Joy Con in one hand with their hand below the IR camera as though it's a bottle. The object is to pass it around and not be the player who it explodes all over. A decent idea of paper, but not in practice.