Karen Otmani, the woman on trial for the murder of Shaun Corey in Forest Hill, south-east London, has admitted to drugging and smothering the 42-year-old with a pillow before he died.
Corey's body was discovered in a wheelie bin in the bedroom of Otmani, also 42, in June 2011. His body had decomposed so much so that a proper post-mortem examination was not possible.
At the Old Bailey Otmani broke down, admitting that she tied him to the bed with her tights, gave him the date rape drug Rohypnol and smothered him with a pillow.
She said she had had enough of Corey's verbal abuse and had just wanted to "shut him up", saying she had not meant to kill him.
"I was cutting him loose and he was shouting, he wouldn't stop shouting. I just found myself on the bed on top of him with a pillow over his face," she said.
Otmani also told how she went to make Corey breakfast after we was dead because she "wanted him to wake up".
After being asked why she had kept his body in a wheelie bin for 11 days, she said: "I didn't want him to go anywhere. I wanted to keep him with me and I was going to look after him.
"I was talking to him as I put him in the box. I told him 'I'm sorry' and I said 'If you want to stay with me you have to stay in the box, I'm sorry'."
Otmani stormed out of the witness box after the prosecution said she was lying. Bobbie Cheema, prosecuting, said it was convenient that Otmani had forgotten how she had come to pick up the pillow in the first place.
After being asked again, the defendant said: "If you're going to be like this with your questions I'm not going to answer anymore.
"If you want me to leave the dock then so be it, I will. Don't make me out to be some kind of monster.
"If you're just here to humiliate me, I'm not going to speak to you."
After leaving the witness stand, she was advised to consider her position during the lunch break.
Last week, the court heard how Otmani had considered leaving Corey's body to rot and then grinding up his bones up and sprinkling them across the country.
Otmani denies murder. Bernard Beddoe, 60, has also been charged with murder and assisting an offender, but he denies these charges.
The trial continues.