In the latest episode of her Spotify podcast, former first lady Michelle Obama discussed marriage with her guest, TV host Conan O'Brien, and recalled the times when she wanted to push her husband Barack Obama "out of the window."
In the episode which was aired less than a month away from her and Barack Obama's 28th anniversary on Oct. 3, Michelle Obama said "you can't Tinder your way into a long-term relationship." Opening up about the struggles in their decades old marriage, the bestselling author confessed that there were times when she couldn't stand Barack.
"You've got to know that there are going to be times, long periods of time, when you can't stand each other... I said it, you know, on the book tour, as a joke," she told Conan. "There were times that I wanted to push Barack out of the window, right. And I say that, because it's like you've got to know the feelings will be intense. But that doesn't mean you quit. And these periods can last a long time. They can last years," the 56-year-old added.
The mother-of-two also said that young couples, especially when they have small children, give up on their relationship after a struggle with tiredness, stress, and sharing roles because "they think they're broken."
"I just want to say, look, if that breaks a marriage, then Barack and I have been broken off and on, throughout our marriage, but we have a very strong marriage. And if I had given up on it, if I had walked away from it, in those tough times, then I would've missed all the beauty, that was there as well," the former FLOTUS reflected.
Michelle also said that marriage should be approached like picking a basketball team as she believes it would lead to "better marriages" because then "you want your teammate to be a winner."
The author, who shares two daughters Malia, 22, and Sasha, 19, with the former president, also recalled "the sting of gender roles" in their marriage after having kids. "I would not trade them in, but whew, they can mess up a marriage," she said about the impact of having children on their dynamic.
"I had to be there, and I had to go, and it was my body, and my husband was still sort of boppin' around, living his life... the resentment starts to build up, or it started to, it's like well, what happened to the unit, what happened to my best friend? What happened to my buddy, who's, at the gym? It's like, how the hell are you at the gym? You know, dude... I've got cabbage on my breast," she noted.
After the episode, Michelle took to her Instagram account to share a never-seen-before picture from her and Barack's wedding in 1992. The throwback snap showed the couple at their reception with wedding cake on their noses.
"Last week on the #MichelleObamaPodcast, Conan and I reflected on our marriages. This relationship can be one of the most foundational pieces of our identities – bringing us so much joy, meaning and support every single day," she wrote in the caption.
"But one thing is for sure: it also takes a lot of work; a lot of honesty with ourselves and our partners. That's one thing I've learned," Michelle added.