Teenage police shooting suspect Alexandria Hollinghurst fantasised about being sent to prison in order to escape her family in disturbing letters written by her.
Hollinghurst, 17, wrote letters to her mother and her boyfriend Brandon Goode, before the killing of officer Robert German in Orlando, Florida.
The teenager's angry letters lift the lid on her inner turmoil, which was at odds with the image of a young woman apparently living the American dream after her family emigrated from Glossop in Derbyshire.
Hollinghurst was found dead with Goode near the scene of German's shooting on the same luxury estate where golfer Tiger Woods used to live. It is suspected they committed suicide after shooting dead the 31-year-old police officer.
In a letter to Goode she wrote: "I'm also very nervous for both of our court dates. I hope you get the chance for probation; I hope I get time. It'll be a mini vacation from my parents and when I come back I might be more grateful. Ha, or not. I just need a break from the b****."
Letters scrawled in black pen to her boyfriend depict a young woman infatuated with him. She spoke of wishing to run away with Goode and grow "herb" (marijuana) in states where it was "legal" to do so.
Writing to her mother, Hollinghurst told her: "Please understand that when people compare us, I vomit on the inside. If I had stayed another minute I would have painted the walls and stained the carpets with my blood so you could clean it up. You are a waster of space, ignorant and a rotten ****. I wish I were never born."
Orange County sheriff Jerry Demings told a press conference of the murder: "The deputy knew he had a suspicious set of circumstances, so he called for backup.
"The two suspects were found very close to where officer German was shot. It appears to be that both suspects, a male and female, died from self-inflicted gunshot wounds."