A man in Zimbabwe is in a critical condition after having his "sausage and two eggs" almost lopped off by three furious brothers for sleeping with their sister.
According to news sources in Zimbabwe, a 29-year-old man was targeted by the brothers after they accused him getting the woman pregnant.
But one striking detail is the way the unfortunate victim's private parts are described by coy local press in the African country.
The website 'My Zimbabwe' first likened his genitals to sausage and eggs, and then opted for the less oblique description of "sperm sprayer."
Maybe the first metaphor was inspired by the British phrase for a gentleman's privates - 'meat and two veg.' In contrast, 'sperm sprayer' needs no disambiguation at all.
Unlucky Zamani Ndebele was ambushed on his way to take part in a competition being held in a school in the remote town of Zibunkululu in east Zimbabwe.
According to reports, the three male relatives of the woman surrounded Ndebele and refused to let him pass.
Then they doled out a heavy beating with fists, before drawing a knife and continuing the attack, inflicting heavy wounds on his genitals.
They were stopped when the victim's cousin arrived and dragged his relation free.
Police are hunting two men who fled the scene. The cousin, Future Sibanda, pinned one of the assailants to the ground and handed him over to officers when they arrived.
Matabeleland police inspector Billie Dube said: "We have launched a manhunt. Preliminary investigations are under way."
Bdebele is said to be recovering well from his injuries at a hospital in Tsholotsho.