'Both Of Them Sinning': Pete Hegseth's Pastor Reportedly Blames Wives in Viral Marital Rape Debate

Pastor Doug Wilson has ignited fierce outrage after asserting in a recent interview that wives do not have the right to 'cut off' their husbands from intimacy for months, and that in some marital rape scenarios, 'both of them' are sinning.

The remarks by the 71-year-old founder of the Communion of Reformed Evangelical Churches quickly drew sharp condemnation from survivors and advocacy groups.

The controversy carries significant political weight due to Wilson's ongoing ties to United States Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth, who previously invited the Idaho-based pastor to lead prayers inside the Pentagon in February 2026.

Critics have since warned that the defence secretary's alignment with Wilson reflects a broader effort to weave Christian nationalist ideas into military culture and policy. Wilson is the founder of the denomination to which Hegseth belongs.

As public backlash mounts across digital platforms, lawmakers and civil rights advocates are demanding formal clarification regarding the ideological influences shaping contemporary national defence policy.

What Wilson Said About Marital Rape and Wives' 'Right To Refuse'

In the interview, Wilson said police should be called in cases of violent rape but argued the church should handle what he termed 'non-violent rape' within marriages. 'If he forces himself on her and rapes her, then I believe that that's a sin,' he said. Yet he immediately carved out a gray zone, suggesting that a wife's right to say no has limits.

'Let's say she's had an absolute horrendous day, is fried, just is exhausted and says, 'Honey, please, please, no.' Does she have the right to do that? Absolutely yes, she has the right to do that,' Wilson said. 'Does she have the right to cut him off for six months? No.'

He added that if a husband in his congregation reported going months without sex because his wife was refusing, he would tell the husband that his wife had the 'problem. And we'd address it like, Look, we have to talk, you're married. You need to act like you're married,' Wilson said.

When pressed on whether a husband would be 'justified' in raping his wife if she 'held out' too long, Wilson replied, 'It's not justified, but neither behaviour is justified. So basically what you'd have there is a marital mess. And both of them sinning against each other.'

Advocates Push Back as Marital Rape Remains Illegal Across US

Marital rape has been illegal in all 50 states since 1993, though laws and definitions vary by jurisdiction. Advocates for sexual assault survivors condemned Wilson's remarks, with one victims' rights advocate, who asked not to be named, saying, 'There is no, gray area, in rape. Consent must be freely given every time, regardless of marital status.'

The Pentagon did not immediately respond to requests for comment on Wilson's latest statements or on Hegseth's ongoing relationship with the pastor. Hegseth has faced scrutiny over his ties to Wilson and alignment with Christian nationalist views, with critics raising concerns that his actions since taking office reflect efforts to incorporate Christian ideology into military and national policy.

In past interviews, he has argued women should submit to men, suggested women should not be allowed to vote, and endorsed 'household voting,' where only the head of household casts a ballot. He has also said transgender people are 'sad,' that execution is justifiable for certain homosexual acts, and that gay sex should be illegal, according to reports.

In September, Pete Hegseth's second wife filed for divorce. In October, he was accused of raping a woman at a speaking event in California. Charges were never filed, and Hegseth has said the accusation was false, adding that he paid the woman $50,000 as part of a settlement to protect his family and his job at Fox News. Jennifer Hegseth has never commented publicly on the matter.

Nothing is confirmed yet on how the Pentagon or White House will respond to Wilson's comments, so everything should be taken with a grain of salt. Despite the heavy backlash, representatives for the pastor have maintained that his teachings reflect traditional Biblical interpretations rather than condoning unlawful acts.