Monica Lewinsky Says 1998 Bill Clinton Scandal Still Affects Her Today: 'I Still Live in Fear'

Monica Lewinsky, the woman involved in the infamous 1998 scandal with former US President Bill Clinton, revealed that the incident still affects her to this day. Lewinsky shared the trauma it caused her when the scandal brought on a global media frenzy and continues to shape her life nearly 30 years later.

In the latest episode of Lewinsky's podcast with guest Jameela Jamil, Lewinsky shared a rare account of how the 1998 scandal still affects her. The former White House intern said that she lost control over her narrative when the scandal blew up worldwide and that she continued to live in fear even after the scandal seemed to blow over. Jamil noted that back then, 'There was no outlet for you to have any control over your own narrative', adding, 'Like now, you actually have a place where you can immediately offer a rebuttal.'

Fear of Losing Everything

'I still live in a lot of fear...it just may sound crazy, which is almost like an earthquake will happen and everything I've built in the last 11 years, oh gosh, it is making me emotional, will be taken away again, and I'll somehow find myself without purpose or, you know, without an income,' Lewinsky said. She added that she tries to focus on the present and not dwell on the past, yet having lived through what she experienced was still difficult for her.

The story of the Clinton affair broke out in 1998 and resulted in Clinton being impeached but later acquitted. Following the ordeal, Lewinsky became the target for vitriol, not only in the US but also worldwide. Over time, Lewinsky would later turn that experience into the motivation for speaking out about bullying, cyber-shaming, and the long-term effects of public humiliation.

Advocacy and Rebranding

Lewinsky has since become an advocate for people who faced similar situations as she did. She launched her podcast, 'Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky', where she interviews guests and shares her perspective on the scandal, whilst examining her mistakes at the time and trying to rebrand herself outside the scandal. The podcast allows her to control her own narrative in ways that weren't available during the height of the controversy.

The Power Dynamics With Bill Clinton

Lewinsky also talked about the power dynamics that were present between her and Clinton at the time of the scandal. Lewinsky described the dynamic as a 'gross abuse of power' whilst noting that Clinton hardly faced any consequences for his affair. 'I think he escaped a lot more than I did,' Lewinsky said. 'The farther away you get from something, the more mature you get and the more healed you get.'

'Becoming a public person without having the intention to, going to bed one night and the next day, everyone knows your name,' Lewinsky shared about the scandal, even revealing that at one point, she and her family members were contemplating drastic measures. She shared that she once contemplated taking her own life, as did her father, whilst her mother had a nervous breakdown from the scandal.

A source close to Lewinsky said she 'is no longer cushioning her words for anyone else's comfort' following the interview. 'Calling it an abuse of power is her drawing a final line under decades of blame that was unfairly placed on her,' the insider said.