Four Months After Nadiya Santiago's Death, Mum Still Seeks Answers Over Bullying Claims

Four months after Nadiya Santiago's death, her mother says she is still seeking answers over allegations that the 11-year-old was bullied at school.

Nadiya died by suicide on 19 May after staying home from school that day. Her mother, Deanna Gresko, says she learned only after her daughter's death that friends had alleged months of bullying at Frontier Middle School.

Gresko said she had no idea anything was wrong until the night before Nadiya's death. She described her daughter, known to loved ones as 'Nana', as a 'sweet' middle school pupil who sang in church, loved soccer and took pride in her education.

'She loved school; she was an honour student,' Gresko told WIVB. 'She didn't even ever fight to go to school; she loved it.' That changed on 19 May, when Nadiya asked her mother if she could stay home.

Gresko says one friend later told her that Nadiya and other pupils had reported the alleged bullying to teachers and the principal. Frontier Central School District previously said a Dignity for All Students Act investigation was ongoing.

Nadiya Santiago Asked To Stay Home After TikTok Post

The previous evening, Gresko said her son showed her a video on Nadiya's phone. Nadiya had accidentally posted a short dance video on TikTok, and her brother told their mother that 'some kids' were talking about her online.

Gresko said she did not get a chance to read the comments herself. 'I said, "Well, what are they saying?" And she was like, "Nothing bad, but I'm embarrassed. Can I stay home tomorrow?"' Gresko recalled.

When Gresko tried to get more information, Nadiya replied, 'I don't know, Mom.' Her mother advised her to delete the video and ignore what others were saying. The next morning, Gresko asked again whether anyone was still talking about the post. Nadiya told her the video had been deleted.

Gresko also offered to approach the school if pupils there were involved. Later that day, she left to collect her other children from school. Gresko said she asked Nadiya whether she wanted to come with her, but her daughter chose to stay home. A short time after Gresko returned, roughly 40 minutes later, Nadiya's body was discovered.

Nadiya Santiago's Mum Learned of Bullying Claims Afterwards

Gresko says the allegations about Nadiya's experiences at school emerged only after her death. She told PEOPLE that one of Nadiya's friends later said a group of pupils had been 'picking on her really bad' for months. According to Gresko, the friend also said Nadiya and other pupils had 'told the teachers and the principal'.

Gresko says the school never contacted her about those alleged problems. 'They didn't even call me to say, "Hey, your daughter's having a problem. You might want to talk to her,"' she said.

Gresko also later learned from one of Nadiya's siblings that her daughter had previously mentioned children picking on her. According to Gresko, Nadiya had asked the sibling not to tell their mother and had not made the situation sound serious.

'I don't know why she didn't tell me. She knew I would've tried everything,' Gresko said. 'I would've even pulled her out of the school if I knew.'

The accounts do not independently establish what school staff knew before Nadiya's death, when they may have learned of any concerns or what action was taken.

Nadiya Santiago Case Remains a Focus for Her Mum

After Nadiya's death, Frontier Central School District told WIVB that it was 'equally concerned' and took 'this matter very seriously'.

'We have an ongoing DASA investigation. At this time, we are granting no media interviews on this matter,' the district said at the time.

WIVB reported that DASA, or the Dignity for All Students Act, requires New York school districts to report incidents of bullying and harassment and provides for reported incidents to be investigated.

Gresko has also criticised officials' response. She alleged that Nadiya's picture and name were not included in the school yearbook and accused the school of trying to 'erase her'. At the time of publication, the district had not responded to that specific allegation.

Months after her daughter's death, Gresko says she wants to keep Nadiya's memory alive while drawing attention to bullying.

'I won't let Nadiya be silenced,' she told WIVB. 'They're going to see my face. I won't stop until a law is passed for Nadiya and for all the other little children that are bullied.'

'She loved everybody, cared about everybody,' Gresko added. 'She didn't have a mean bone in her body. And I want her to be remembered as the light that she was.'

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Away from the arguments, family and friends describe a child who was, in her mother's words, 'full of life'. That kind of memory is precisely what makes the quiet hints of distress, like one embarrassed request to stay home, feel so painfully easy to miss.