A nurse who poisoned patients with contaminated saline drips blamed the "devil within him" for killing them and leaving one brain damaged, a court has heard.
Victorino Chua, originally from the Philippines, denies murdering three patients and poisoning 18 more by putting insulin in their saline drips at Stepping Hill Hospital in Stockport between June 2011 and January 2012. Several others have since recovered.
On 13 April, Manchester Crown Court heard police found a note inside his kitchen drawer following his arrest in January 2012.
The 49-year-old, who was taking anti-depressants, was urged by a hospital counsellor a year before to express his frustration and anger on paper.
In his note, he wrote: "They thought I'm a nice person but there a devil in me. People see me as if I got no problem because I don't show them my true colour.
"I know if I go, I go straight to hell no question ask... so I'm writing this letter in case something happen to me my family can continue my case or can tell somebody to look at it and work out how an angel turn to an evil person.
"The bitter nurse confession. Got lots to tell but I just take it to my grave. My family will make history here in England."
Chua, of Heaton Norris, pleaded not guilty to 37 charges, including the three alleged murders, one count of grievous bodily harm with intent, 23 counts of attempted grievous bodily harm, eight counts of attempting to cause a poison to be administered and one count of administering a poison.
His lawyer, Peter Griffiths QC, says Chua is being made a scapegoat by the hospital. The trial continues.