Who Is Lilly Jay? Ethan Slater's Ex-Wife Back in Spotlight After Ariana Grande Split

Ariana Grande and Ethan Slater have reportedly split after nearly three years of dating. The two met on the set of Wicked and began their relationship in 2023.

Before his relationship with Grande, Slater was married to his high school sweetheart, Lilly Jay, for five years. Grande and Slater's relationship became public in July 2023. The singer had separated from her then-husband, Dalton Gomez, while Slater filed for divorce shortly after his relationship with Grande became public.

'[Ariana's] the story, really. Not a girl's girl. My family is just collateral damage,' Jay reportedly shared with Page Six. Here's everything to know about Slater's ex-wife.

Who Is Lilly Jay?

Jay is a clinical psychologist. She studied law and social thought at Amherst College, graduating in 2014, before pursuing psychology at Columbia University, according to her LinkedIn. She later earned a doctoral degree in clinical psychology from Long Island University in 2020.

She specialises in perinatal mental health and child development. According to Jay's Perinatal Mental Health Provider Directory bio, she has 'advanced training in supporting parents navigating infertility, medically-complex pregnancies and perinatal/infant loss.'

'I do feel deeply, deeply committed to the private work of being a psychologist, and I quite like that,' she told Glamour in 2025.

She also talked about her work in an interview with The Cut. She shared that while pregnant with her son, 'I worked as a psychologist at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia, supporting women pregnant with babies facing severe or fatal diseases.'

Jay is also an anti-sexual assault advocate. She was involved in the 'It's On Us' campaign and also gave a speech at the White House in 2014 to help raise awareness on campus sexual assault.

'That's the terrible irony of sexual assault activism: using your experience to protect others from rape is so empowering, but it also tethers you to your pain. In order to be heard, I had to talk about the night in which violence silenced me,' Jay said.

'When nonsurvivors step up and say, "I don't need to be hurt to care about assault," they give survivors permission to move our hearts from the edge of our sleeves back to where they belong. Hearing my friends, family, and professors say, "You don't need to stay hurt to convince us to care" freed me. That's when I got back my college experience,' Jay added.

Ethan Slater and Lilly Jay's Relationship

Jay and Slater began dating in college when they were sophomores, but they had already known each other since high school, with Jay referring to Slater as her 'high school sweetheart.' They got married in November 2018 and welcomed their son in August 2022.

In 2023, Slater filed for divorce from Jay as he began dating Grande. Their divorce was finalised in 2024. Jay later made a comment about the situation in an essay for The Cut in December 2024.

'I really never thought I would get divorced. Especially not just after giving birth to my first child and especially not in the shadow of my husband's new relationship with a celebrity,' Jay said.

'Days with my son are sunny. Days when I can't escape the promotion of a movie associated with the saddest days of my life are darker,' she added.

She also said that while her and Slater's partnership changed, their 'parenthood has not.'

'I have come to believe that in the absence of the life I planned with my high school sweetheart, a lifetime of sweetness is waiting for me and my child. While our partnership has changed, our parenthood has not. Both of us fiercely love our son 100 percent of the time, regardless of how our parenting time is divided,' Jay said.