'I've Been a Really Bad Boy': Kristi Noem's Husband Allegedly 'Kept Messaging Dominatrix' After Cross-Dressing Scandal Blowup

Bryon Noem allegedly sent a dominatrix the message 'I've been a really bad boy' in mid‑May, weeks after reports first exposed his supposed double life and cross‑dressing roleplay, according to her account on a podcast. Shy Sotomayor, who spoke on UNCLOSETED with Spencer Macnaughton, claims the public scandal did not stop him contacting her and says he still owes her thousands of dollars.

The alleged message has reignited scrutiny of the husband of former US Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem, whose private life became headline news earlier this year following reports that he participated in online feminisation and cross‑dressing roleplay. Sotomayor claims she maintained contact with Bryon for nine years and that he spent between $35,000 and $45,000 on her services during that time.

The latest allegations are generating renewed interest because they suggest the controversy may not have ended when it became public. Bryon has not responded to requests for comment regarding Sotomayor's claims.

The May Text That Raised New Questions About Bryon Noem's Alleged Behaviour

According to Sotomayor, Bryon first contacted her again through iMessage on 17 May with the message, 'I've been a really bad boy', before later reaching out on WhatsApp. She said she responded by telling him that he needed help and subsequently sent him a PayPal invoice for $4,500 that she claims he still owed her.

Speaking on the podcast, Sotomayor questioned whether Bryon was capable of stopping the behaviour that had already generated widespread public attention. She described him as someone who appeared unconcerned about the consequences of being discovered.

The timing of the alleged messages has become the story's biggest development. Reports about Bryon's private online activities had already circulated for weeks, and there were reports that he had entered a religious recovery programme intended to address unwanted sexual behaviours. According to Sotomayor, however, the communication continued.

The Alleged Nine‑Year Relationship And The Moment Kristi Noem Nearly Found Out

Sotomayor told UNCLOSETED that her relationship with Bryon allegedly began nine years ago, when she was in her early twenties. She estimated that he spent as much as $45,000 on her services during that period.

She also recounted a moment that she described as frightening. During one phone conversation in January, she allegedly heard a woman's voice ask, 'Who are you talking to?' Sotomayor said she believed Kristi Noem had walked into the room while Bryon was speaking with her. The incident left her convinced that the interactions were closer to exposure than either of them had realised.

A representative for Kristi Noem previously said she was 'devastated' and that the family had been 'blindsided' in March by reports concerning her husband's private activities.

Why The 'Crystal' Claims Are Stirring Political Debate

Sotomayor further alleged that Bryon asked to be called 'Crystal' and discussed desires involving feminisation and transition during some of their interactions. Those claims have drawn attention because of Kristi Noem's long-standing political opposition to several transgender rights policies during her time as Governor of South Dakota and later as Homeland Security Secretary.

However, LGBTQ advocacy groups and experts have stressed that cross‑dressing, feminisation fantasies and gender identity are not the same thing. No evidence has emerged that Bryon identifies as transgender, and Sotomayor's account should not be interpreted as confirmation of any gender identity.

For now, the allegations remain just that: allegations. The reported May message has ensured that a scandal many assumed had faded is again in the spotlight and raising questions about whether the behaviour described by Sotomayor was an isolated secret or an enduring pattern that persisted even after public exposure.